Kent Council Council elections May 7th 2009 |
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If elected he will work on behalf of the electorate, his main policies are:
To put a catapult each side of Milton creek, so the vehicles can cross the creek without the need to build a bridge. As an extra benefit they will pass through two giant brushes, which will clean the vehicles as they cross the creek. Have large vehicles built, which will have,a wheel in each corner, be driven by professionally qualified people, have up to 70 seats on them, and travel on pre-set routes. They will operate from 05.00 until 01.00 with intervals of between 5 and 15mins. People will then give the driver 50p to travel on these vehicles, which are designed to cut traffic jams. These will be called BUSTS as they will be jam busters, and if it goes wrong it will just be another BOOB. Sack sleeping policemen & enlist water-cannon policemen instead. Spread lockets over roads to relieve congestion. Paint all taxis PURPLE as this will hide the dirt. Paint the roads RED, cycle lanes YELLOW, and pavements PURPLE so that everyone knows where they should be. To put a funnel over County Hall to capture all the hot air and turn it into energy. Use this energy to heat hospital and schools. Put all people committed of antisocial behaviour in to stocks, this will create a demand for stocks, which should help to increase the value of the stock market. To fit funnels to the rear of cattle and sheep and convert all the defecated energy into power, and use it to power our trains. Arrange for all the rubbish to be collected and taken to power stations to be converted into energy. To give all electorate pogo sticks so they can jump over traffic making it easier to cross the road especially Staplehurst Road. Sack all dumb traffic lights and replace them with intelligent lights who can automatically monitor traffic flows to enable traffic jams not to build up blocking other roads. Remove all roundabouts, especially those baby ones, and replace with intelligent traffic lights. Introduce Parking Meter Fruit Machines. so that paying parkers could win money, encouraging them to pay. Put rockets launchers in no entry signs so that any vehicle which enters the wrong way is covered in grundge. Any vehicle parked in a taxi rank will also get covered in grundge. He will also campaign to bring back 'Thomas the Tank Engine' to run the trains on the Sheerness branch, and on the Strood to Paddock Wood Line to improve reliability. Bring back steam trains on the London to Ramsgate service on Sundays as it will speed up journey times and be very popular. Issue all policeman drums to get them back on the beat. Feed the trains with Exlax to make them run better. Put a giant upturned umbrella on the roof of each to catch the rain water so that each household can use this water for washing and cleaning, saving valuable water. Put a giant magnifying glass on each roof to capture the sun's heat to heat homes saving on power usage. Give the Cheif Constable a large pair of RED scissors so he can cut through the RED tape. Cut down all hedges to prevent people creating "HEDGE FUNDS" To allow all pubs to stage live music, providing that the noise does not inconvenience the neighbours. To encourage all people to be friendly with their neighbours we will organise parties for people moving in or out of kent and arrange reconcilliation parties for men of kent & kentish men |
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| Sheikh up Swale and vote Official Monster Raving Loony Party at the Kent County Council elections May 7th 2009. | |
| To email SHEIKH MIHAND he is always pleased to hear your ideas and offers of help. | |
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National Issues
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Why I should vote Loony
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| This site is written by
Jackie Davidson
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